I listen and wait, watching from a slight distance as I briefly let go of so much that I cannot control. It’s difficult and… it won’t be long, I’m sure, until I once more attempt to take control once more, though secretly knowing this is a pretty stupid thing to do. It never turns out well. But for this brief moment, it does feel good.
Why do we hang on when it is so obvious we can’t control things to a more favorable outcome then when God has control? When Faith is tested, will I found to be lacking or trusting? I am glad of this, that at least God keeps testing my faith so that it may grow and fully mature. I want to learn to let go before it becomes obvious that I am out of all my viable, “human” options.
My development is ongoing and, funny as it is, I do see occasional progress… occasional. A great measuring stick for me, personally, is an awareness that I no longer desire control. It’s just that I haven’t quite knocked out the instincts of attempting to seize control back from The Lord. It’s like a defective reflex that hasn’t quite been fixed. But each moment that I’m able to step back and watch on from the distance is a good sign that God’s Holy Spirit is making at least some progress! That is a small consolation for someone who is fully aware that there is still a great amount of progress still to be made!
Peace, Sean Gutteridge
Today’s Scripture: 1 John 5:4
4 For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world: our faith.